At some point in our lives, we all wrestle with the question, Who am I really? For Christopher, the answer wasn’t always clear. Growing up in a small, conservative village in Austria, queerness was an invisible part of the landscape—unacknowledged, unspoken. Yet, deep down, he always knew he was different. 

Today, Christopher moves between the queer communities of Vienna and Berlin, but the path to self-acceptance was far from linear. Through art, friendship, and a courageous embrace of his identity, he’s learned to redefine intimacy and self-expression on his own terms. In this interview, we explore his defining moments—the challenges of growing up unseen, the life-changing impact of queer art, and how lingerie became a powerful tool for reclaiming his body and story. 

Can you tell us a little about yourself?

I am Christopher and I work as a television producer. These days I am living in the vibrant queer communities of Vienna and Berlin, but I grew up in quite a different world. A world that would not tell me anything about myself. A conservative and rural area of Austria where queerness was often invisible or unspoken. Even though my parents are open minded and will always support me I never saw anyone like me. This left me with a constant sense of not fitting in, of not belonging.

Today I find joy in art and creativity. I have a deep passion for photography, especially the work of Robert Mapplethorpe. His bold and unapologetic exploration of queer identity, intimacy and beauty has been a huge inspiration for me, helping me navigate my own journey and find strength in embracing who I am.

With friends I also organize a music festival back in the town I grew up in, where I try to put my focus on creating a safer space and raising awareness especially for queer people. Something I always missed growing up. (@kulturindermühle)

Can you describe how you first began to understand and explore your sexuality growing up? Were there any pivotal moments during your formative years that shaped your understanding of your sexual identity? If so, can you share those experiences?

From a young age, I knew I was different, even before I had the words to describe it. As a child there were no visible examples of queerness around me, and it felt like my existence was somehow a mistake or something to be hidden. Without knowing that a different life was possible, I tried to conform, performing a version of myself that could pass as straight. Always dreaming of a different life that I somehow knew could be possible.

A turning point came when I first encountered shows with queer characters (which really wasn’t a big thing at that time compared to these days) and read books with queer storylines. It was proof for what I subconsciously already sensed; there was really nothing wrong with me. It made me realize there were other ways to live and love, far beyond the confines of the world I grew up in.

Discovering queer art expanded this realization. I began to see a different way of being and began to reject the limitations that had been imposed on me.

How did societal or cultural expectations around gender and sexuality impact your journey of self-discovery?

Social and cultural expectations around gender and sexuality were like an invisible force pressing down on me, dictating what I could or could not be. Growing up there was no space for anyone who did not fit into a strict binary understanding of gender and sexuality. I felt pressured to hide who I was, to pretend to be someone I wasn’t, just to feel accepted.

Overcoming the rigid, heteronormative binary ideology and escaping the often toxic masculinity of those years was challenging and sometimes a quite painful journey. But it led me to a life that is happier, more fulfilled, and more authentic where I can explore my desires step by step. 

Can you recall a time when you faced significant challenges in expressing your true self? How did you find resilience or strength in these moments?

There were many times when I felt deeply isolated and confused about who I was, especially during my teenage years but also in my early twenties.  It was challenging to reconcile the person I felt I was inside with the person I was expected to be. I found strength in holding onto the belief that there had to be more to life than the narrow definitions around me. Discovering art and photography became a lifeline; seeing the work of Robert Mapplethorpe, who captured vulnerability and power in equal measure, gave me the courage to believe in the value of my own identity. His work was proof that beauty could exist in defiance of norms. 

Were there any specific turning points in your journey that allowed you to more fully embrace your sexuality and identity?

The most significant turning points were moving to cities like Vienna and Berlin, where I found communities and friends that celebrated queerness in all its forms. I met people who lived their truth openly and joyfully and this was incredibly liberating. I also began to explore art and photography more deeply, not just as an observer but as a participant. This allowed me to embrace aspects of myself that I had kept hidden, step by step, and to recognize the strength of my own uniqueness.

Do you see lingerie or underwear as a medium for challenging or redefining traditional notions of gender, intimacy, or sexuality? How has this influenced your relationship with your body or others?

Absolutely. Lingerie and underwear can be incredibly powerful forms of self-expression, allowing people to break free from traditional notions of gender and intimacy. For me it’s a way to reclaim my body and to celebrate it on my own terms. Like photography it’s a way of storytelling – a visual language that challenges conventional ideas and invites new conversation about identity and desire. 

Looking back on your journey, what advice would you give to someone struggling to reconcile their identity with societal norms?

Well to anyone struggling now I would say: trust that your true self is worth embracing, even when it feels like the world around you doesn’t make space for it. It's okay to take your time, to explore, and to find what feels right for you. Seek out for queer communities, art, and people who make you feel seen and understood. And don’t be afraid to challenge the norms that don’t serve you, it's those challenges where you will find your strength and freedom. There is no right way to be; try to live as authentic as possible; it is your greatest asset. 

How do you continue to evolve in your relationship with identity, intimacy, and self-expression today?

I continue to explore my desires, step outside of my comfort zone, and remain open to new experiences because after all I have a strong feeling that there is so much more out there in the world that I would love to see. I find inspiration in art and the wonderful people I have around me and I use photography to document and celebrate my journey. I still look back to that little queer boy in the Austrian countryside a lot and thank him for holding onto his dreams, even when he couldn’t see how they would come true back then. Now I am living with curiosity, creativity and a commitment to being as true to myself as possible.

Photography:
Pascal Schrattenecker